Narrative

//Narrative//

“ Are you going to take a drink?” It has to be cool enough by know”. The women sitting across from Addison inquired as she sipped her own tea. Addison eyed it and slowly brought the white cup up to her mouth and let the hot tea trickle slowly down her throat, she winced at the bitter taste it left. She set the cup down gently on the table in front of her as the women she was facing continued to look at her. Addison smoothed out the top of her dress and then placed her soft fingers back in to her lap. “ Do you not like the cake “? The women continued to interrogate Addison’s food habits. “No it is a good cake but, I had a lot to eat before I came, I’m full”. She answered pulling the teacup back up to her lips in order to not to have to say anymore. “It’s good tea is it not”? The women continued to go on. Addison nodded and pretended to take another sip of the bitter stuff. “ I imagine there is a whole crowd waiting for you out there”. The women quipped. “ You are the new star everyone is talking about”. Addison smiled politely. “Addison Rivers, 19 years old, nominated and won an oscar for her breakout role in //Moonlight”.// “Yes, that’s me, I suppose”. She said. “Thank you for the treat, we should do this again sometime, but I have to leave now, there is somewhere else I have to be”. Addison finally said. She got up and smiled at the women behind her as she excited the front of the cafe. The crowd in the front that the women was talking about mainly consisted of men with large cameras, paparazzi. Addison had gotten used to them since moving to Hollywood. The management at her studio had told her to pose for some, but no more than three pictures. They weren’t aloud to see anything that the management thought wasn’t acceptable to see. She bared her teeth in what was a smile and the paparazzi ate it up. The large black limo was waiting up front for her. She slipped inside it and waved once more before the door was shut. Everybody and everything was owned by a studio. Addison herself had a contract which she signed for Paramount studios. She went through a school or training where there were many people like her who wanted to be a star. There everybody learned how to walk right ; keeping their shoulders back heads high one foot after the other heel toe. All of them desperate for stardom learned not only how to act but to sing and to dance. The studios would pick out the ones who they thought were the most likely to be stars and cast them in movies. After training for almost a year Addison was set up with her first role in the movie titled Moonlight. She was transformed by the role to a point where she almost was a different person. After people saw the movie and liked it the studio decided to promote her more. The studio decided what she would do, or at least what the public would see her doing. It was called the studio system and that was what Hollywood was all about. Stepping slowly out of the limo, Addison escaped and was faced to the front of the house she called home. She waited for the driver to drive away before she walked up the front walk to the door. When she did get inside she was reminded of the loneliness the big house caused. The studio made up there own stories about her though, they told her that she had to live in this big house alone, for it would make her seem more unattainable. She wanted to be a star though, ever since she went in for training ever since she was a little girl going to the cinema. The studio lifestyle was hard at times but it was a small price to pay to be a star. She slipped off her shoes which were red heels and her swollen, bare feet touched the ground below her. It wouldn’t be long before the manager from her studio was inside her house, discussing upcoming movies. After the success of Moonlight the studio had used her as their big star. She got used to signing autographs and being followed or greeted by crowds of people who wanted to see her everywhere and anywhere she went. After all thats what those people wanted to see, they wanted to see stars and she was one , they wanted to see stars because it was Hollywood’s golden age. The doorbell rang shaking Addison out of her few seconds of alone time and she let her bare feet take her over to the large door. She pondered weather putting her heels back on was a good idea or not. “Hello Addison”. The booming voice filled up the foyer of her house. It belonged to the studio head of Paramount studios the man in charge. She led him into the dining room where he didn’t wait to take a chair and sit down. “Addison Rivers”. He cleared is throat and paused before saying anything. “ So you’ll be there tomorrow morning for filming”. He said as a statement not even a question. Addison knew that the best artists weather they were actors, directors or writers learned that the studio needed them and their talent and that they were becoming superior over the studio heads. However when she wasn’t on camera Addison was somewhat shy and nervous, and the people in charge of her sometimes scared her. “How was the outing with Sara today”? He went on. Sara Lincoln was the women she had to spend time with earlier, she was an actress as well though not as big as Addison. The studio often made Addison meet with other people that she didn’t know very well in public and then make up stories about what they were doing. The management would often do that to people, they knew which stars had to be seen with which stars to make the people happy. “It went well”. Addison politely said.

It was the late 1950’s the golden age of Hollywood. The old Hollywood studio system was still working, but slowly coming to an end. Addison Rivers was a young star working for one of the big studios at that time by the name of Paramount. She had won an oscar for her past year’s film called //Moonlight// and was working on a variety of other projects. Juggling life as a Hollywood star. --

The blue dress Addison had put on was being blown onto her body in the early morning wind. The birds slowly chirped around her and the air smelt that of California early spring. Her shoes were making her feet ache even though she had barely just put them on. Small curls feel into her face and her sunglasses covered her eyes. The limo was parked just outside of her front driveway and she hurried herself inside. “Paramount studios”. She called out to the driver but slowly stopped herself realizing the driver already knew. She smoothed out her dress a little and gripped her white handbag tightly and waited for her arrival.

“ Addison, has come”. The first words that she heard she excited the limo replayed in her head as she stepped carefully out of the limo and arrived on the outdoor set that was gleaming by the large studio. She walked to the chair containing the director and the other important people al standing around. “Hello Addison how are you”? She looked at the unfamiliar man standing in the middle of the crowd who appeared to belong to the deep voice. She smiled but didn’t answer, after being asked the same question plenty of times the answer starts to lose meaning. It might be people were trying to be polite. Everything usually becomes quite a blur when filming happens, Addison was whisked away to hair makeup and costumes. After being poked and prodded at for an interminable time a jacket was thrown over shoulders and she was dragged back to the set. Tons of people came over to touch her, straighten out her hair, fix her lipstick and so on. She was handed a prop, a warm pastry of a sort. She felt it crumble slightly in her hand. She tried to shake away the crumbs. “Are you ready”? Somebody asked. She looked over to the director who she had talked to about this movie earlier, he was very warm and nice compared to the people around her most of the time. He nodded at her, she lifted her head up and straightened her back. “And Action”! She took a step and then another towards the left. The man actor she had only briefly met came up from behind her, the way he was instructed. “Beautiful day isn’t it”. He walked with her as she continued her steps to the left. She looked back at him remembering how she studied the script. She nodded and reached for the pastry in her hand and lifted it up to her mouth. She took a bite out of it She coughed when the dry thing hit her tongue and spit it out. “Cut cut cut cut”. It didn’t seem necessary for him to repeat that, her face turned red. The man next to Addison turned to one of the people on the sides. “She doesn’t eat”. He whispered probably assuming that Addison couldn’t hear him. “O.K, back from the beginning of the scene we didn’t get very far did we”? The director looked at her. Addison looked down at the crumbled pastry in her hand. “We will get you a sugarless one or something”. He said having someone come over to take it from her. She walked back over to where the scene started soon to be rewarded with another pastry in her hand. “Action”! She took a few steps, looked for the man beside her out of the corner of her eye. “Beautiful day isn’t it”? The lines came out and filled her ears. She lifted up the pastry to her mouth but her lips rejected it’s grossness. “And cut”. The director seemed to be staying calm. “How about lets try to not take a bite of the pastry you can just hold onto it”. He suggested. Addison nodded. “in .....3...2...1... ACTION”!

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“Addison”. She tried to walk as fast a possible to get to safety inside the waiting limo. People were lined up outside of the set to catch a glimpse of her so she smiled at them and waved. “Addison”! Her name was being called again by a strong voice that was standing out among the others that were also calling it. She turned around startling the man who was leading her to the limo. “Can we talk for a second”? She stopped in her tracks and looked at the director of the movie she was working on. The one who had been calling for her attention. “ Of course”. She smiled. “In the studio”. He added pointing to the monstrous building standing behind them. The man in front of her turned around and she was being led backwards away from the limo. The crowd closer to the studio building got louder but as she entered the front they died out. Her heels eventually made the only sound, a steady rhythm down the hallway. She sat down at the chair that was open in the room the director shortly disappeared in. She crossed her legs and put her hands in her lap over her white handbag. She looked up to what he had to say. “You are very talented Addison Rivers”. He said slowly.

“Excuse, I don’t mean to be pushy or anything but was their something you didn’t like about my performance today”? Addison spoke up.

“No, you are a great actress, you are perfect for this role”. He said.

“Then may I ask why you want me here ”. She tapped on her bag. “Yes, you may”. Was his answer. Addison breathed in heavily. “I have one little thing that I need to tell you in order to make your performance better.” “A tip for success if you may”. A grin spread out upon his face.

“Well what is it”? She urged. “Well I cannot give you the formula exactly for success- you already have success, but I can give you the formula for failure.” “That is simply; try to please everyone”. He finished. Addison furrowed her brows. “Well what do you mean by that”? She asked clearly not sure how to process his advice. “Trying to please everyone is a sure way to fail”. He looked at her startled face.

“I want to please everyone, I want everyone to love me, I mean who would not”? Addison asked trying to scan his face for answers.

“You can’t do that, you need to please yourself first and foremost”. “That is what is going to make this performance better”. He concluded and pushed back his chair as he got up and slowly he headed out of the small room leaving Addison to the silence and her thoughts.

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The music that night was a little louder then she would have liked it. It stirred her thoughts around in her head like they were parts to a soup. Except the became mush when they got all mixed up. The darkness of the restaurant contributed to the mess in her head. “Would you like me to get you anything to drink”? The strange man asked her again”. She looked up. The studio had asked her to spend time with the other actor in the movie. Although he wasn’t as famous as Addison it was becoming important for people to see him with her. Since it was a love story, the studio seemed it would be more convincing for the people to see them together. Now they were at a rather dark restaurant of choice of the man who went by the name of John Winters. “Some more water please”. She looked up at him answering as what she thought was rather respectable. “Just water, nothing else”? He sort of scoffed out his words. “Yes, just water”. She said. He left from the table briefly, Addison was left alone again with her thoughts and the murmurs of people around her. She saw his shadow come back over juggling two drinks in his hands. She relived him of one and sipped it slowly. “Would you like anything to eat”? He smiled. “O, I forgot, you don’t eat”. He went to laugh but stopped himself as she wasn’t amused. “You’re a wonderful actress, it’s a shame you can’t eat”. He said. Addison looked at the man who was grinning ear to ear. He clearly didn’t understand much of what she thinks about. She put down her water and instead decided to get up. “I need to take a walk”. She said to the man still sitting at the table immersed in his drink. She walked over to the main entrance and struggled to get out into the open, black sky night. She stepped outside joined by a few others who were puffing away at cigarettes and filling the bird’s chirping air with delicate smoke. She stood there for a short time and let the smoke fill her lungs, then she coughed it back out in order to clear them.

“There you are”. She felt cold hands on her shoulders, so she immediately turned to see who was touching her. “We should take a drive if you want to get some more air”. He offered pointing to his car parked out front. “She turned back to him”. “If you insist”. She walked over to the car waiting out front he opened the passenger door for her and she stepped inside. He then made his way inside as well. She crossed her legs and put her hands in her lap. The car was a topless convertible and as it started moving she realized how free it actually did feel to be in it. They speed up on what seemed like the empty road. “The free feeling is great isn’t it”? John Winters the man beside her asked. “Yes, I’ve never been in a convertible before”. Addison said. “Can I ask you something”? She finally said after some silence. “Whatever you’d like”. He answered. “Why is it not okay for me to not try to please everyone, why will not everyone love me”? She pleaded thinking back to what she had been told earlier. “Now that I’ve got myself thinking what do you think the whole point of this is”? She went on, “What is the meaning of life”? “What is the meaning of love”? “What is the point of being here at this moment in this car right now”? “If everything happens for a reason what is the reason for this”? She smiled thinking of all the questions she thought that the man sitting beside her could answer. He looked at her and smiled. His mouth opened a little bit, “I think that “......... “WATCH OUT”! Addison yelled as another car came into view he swerved a little bit and Addison blurred out everything.

From the moment she realized that the car had collided with them till the moment she actually realized the pain that she was feeling she was all blurred out of life. The amount of fright felt like her heart had leaped up her throat and tied an impossible knot to untie and was yanking it down her throat. This was causing her to choke until she realized she was choking not on emotions but actual, physical pain. She figured out the car was hit and somehow they were somewhere but she didn’t know where. She tried to do anything; to scream, to run, to cry. She choked on the pain of the fright and the actual impact together until it washed over everything that she had known of before. Her fragile, meatless bones were probably broke. So all she did was cry. She tried to cry. If she cried she might wake up from a dream, maybe it was all a dream and she would wake up with just a wet face and nothing more. She couldn’t feel anything but she felt like she was still somewhere. There was some kind of light at the back of her mind leaving a gateway open to something. She tried to make her mind go through that gateway and when she did images swirled through her head, images of her life. They spun around and so she tried to close her eyes. The swirling slowed down a bit and cleared a whole for the actual world she had just blanked out of. She looked down at the mess laid out in front of her. She could only make out a few things but she felt strong hands on her shoulders again and wrapping around her full body. She didn’t know whose hands they were but somehow they were making it through the mess of whatever the mess was that she was seeing. She was sure they were hands, they had to be. The secured her fragile body and she felt her being lifted out of the walls of rubble surrounding her and her blurry image of the world focused a tad bit. She felt herself being lowered to a soft ground this time. There were more lights. She could barely sense anything out of the little tunnel at the end of her mind. Until she heard a familiar voice. “I think that you will please just the right people who will make everything happen that is supposed to happen, because the people who you don’t please weren’t meant to be pleased”. Was he alive? It was the first time Addison wondered if she herself was alive either. She tried to make her hands grip onto something and she felt human flesh so she gripped tighter. She felt secure suddenly, like she was no longer going to float away from the world like a balloon. She felt that now somebody was holding her down. “Addison you will make it through this.” She felt a slight hope of conciseness fill her tunnel. She gulped in air feeling that she was with a person. “Addison, you are going to be alright, you will stay with me”. It felt like a statement and she felt her conciseness agreeing to it. “Don’t worry Addison you did please the right people and you will please the right people although that can’t be everybody”. His words were shaky and desperate now like he wasn’t sure that she was going to live anymore. She was becoming the opposite of that, she knew she wanted to stay alive. “ I know”. She mouthed out. “I’m going to be alright”. She whispered wanting to let him know. She felt her tunnel get bigger and bigger until there was only the open world left. She held onto John Winters still scared that if she let go her world would close up again. “I know”.